I talk to myself a lot. Out loud.

Sometimes the things I say surprise me. But for the most part, I’m usually trying to figure something out.

Why did I do what I just did? Why didn’t I say something other than what I said? How could I have handled that better? More often than I might like, I find myself saying aloud, “Well that was certainly stupid. Let’s not do that again.”

Then there are other things like what might I have liked my mother to know before she died. At which point I stop talking to myself and find myself having a conversation with my memory of her. Whether or not it’s how she would actually have responded doesn’t really matter. What matters is that I finally said something that might have been bothering me for eons.

I’m home alone a lot with just the dog and cat for company. Bernd, my husband, is still working. So doing all of this talking out loud is easy. No human ears to listen in to my silliness or pain or confusion.

“Psychology views talking out loud to yourself … often termed private speech or self-directed speech … as a normal, healthy, and often advantageous behavior that aids in cognitive functioning, emotional regulation, and task performance. Far from a sign of mental instability, this practice is used by high performers to organize thoughts, boost focus, and manage stress.” AI prepared that little snippet when I queried Google.

I’m not so sure about that last bit though. Stress. Sometimes, after talking to myself, I feel more stressed than before I got started down that road.

But overall, I’d have to agree that it does help me to get my head straighter than just thinking about a thing does. Somehow hearing something out loud gives it more weight. Makes it seem more real and manageable.

So I guess I’ll just keep doing it.

I have no idea what the dog and cat might think about it. Hopefully they find it endearing. But probably they view it as just one more crazy human behavior.

Images courtesy of Stylist and Medium, respectively.