For my 56^th birthday in 2008, my husband took me out to eat. I fixed my hair and put on some make up. I put on a nice dress and selected pearls for my jewelry.

Bernd had already moved the car out of the garage, so I went out the front door. As I was stepping off the front stoop, a bird in our tree gave out with a beautiful song. I looked up to find it and, just then, Bernd pressed the shutter button.

We went on to have a very nice meal. Later, after downloading the photo, I saw that the expression on my face, captured in that moment, perfectly reflected the joy I felt at hearing that bird’s sweet song. It became my favorite photo of me.

Because I have never really enjoyed having my picture taken, I’ve never had a lot of photos of me to choose from. So some years later when I was publishing my first novel and needed a photo for the back cover, guess what came to mind.

I cropped it and used it and it was perfect in that it clearly showed how I felt about life. I ended up using it everywhere. For years, it was the photo in my profiles in Gmail, Facebook and here on WordPress, as well as my novels.

I used that photo for so long that it started to become ridiculous. So we get to now and it’s almost 17 years later. There isn’t such a vast difference between say 50 years of age and 60. But something happens as you near and enter your 70s. I no longer possess the freshness and lightness that shown out of that long ago birthday photo and I’d felt for some years as if I were lying to the world.

So yesterday, I told Bernd he would have to help me with a project.

I fixed my hair. I put on a very little make up because I don’t actually wear it any more. Just some color on my lips and cheeks. And I filled in my wispy, nearly invisible eyebrows. I selected turquoise for my jewelry.

I stood on a step stool so Bernd wouldn’t have to crouch while photographing me. We took photos all over the house and in different lighting. Then we went through them.

There was only one we agreed was good. I cropped it and then edited all my profile photos, which now includes a second page on Facebook and our Etsy Shop. When I finished, I couldn’t believe how relieved and good I felt. I told Bernd I felt authentic.

I know what I was thinking when Bernd took that particular photo. I was thinking how silly I felt. How I couldn’t believe we were doing this. I felt extremely self-conscious and was sweating a little. And then I laughed at myself and I looked up. But not at a bird singing in a tree. Instead, at all the possibilities inherent in this life and how we often find ourselves doing things we thought we’d never do.

So this is now my new favorite photo of me.

Quote courtesy of Brainy Quote