How to Know your Husband Loves You

Courtesy of Free Vector Art & Image

It isn’t always easy to know the why of love. Why does someone love you, why do you love them back? I’ve thought for many years that love grows out of knowing someone well; that first comes attraction, then infatuation. Both of these work to keep two people together long enough to become familiar with one another and it is out of familiarity that love grows (or not, it could go the other way). Looking back, after many long years, it may seem like it was love at first sight when in reality it was like at first sight. I think that’s how it was for my husband, Bernd, and me. I was attracted to what I saw and heard, luckily he was too, and we both stuck around long enough to learn enough about the other to develop a mutual respect and love.

I think it’s a little easier to know that someone one loves you. I believe it’s in the small day-to-day things that they do or, possibly more importantly, don’t do. It’s in how the other speaks to you and the sorts of things they say.

In honor of Valentine’s Day and in appreciation of the long and abiding love that Bernd and I share, I offer you these few indicators of our true love. You know your husband loves you because …

… 90% of the time he cleans the cat’s litter box because he knows how much you hate doing that.

… every morning, he greats you with a smile and a few loving words.

… every night the last words he says to you before falling asleep are, “I love you.” Or lately it’s “nighty nighty poo.” But for sure, “I love you” comes before that.

… 100% of the time he cleans the toilets because he knows how much you hate doing that. And you don’t know how much I appreciate that.

… he goes off to work and doesn’t complain that you aren’t currently working at a waged job yourself.

… he tells you he wants you to be happy and healthy and take whatever time you need to find yourself.

… he comes home from work with a little something for you that he saw and thought you might like for no special reason whatsoever except that he was thinking of you.

… he helps you with all your zany projects whether or not he thinks they make any sense at all.

… he puts up with all your quirks, foibles, inconsistencies and general anal retentiveness without complaint.

… you’ve been sick for days with a severe flu, you have a major case of bedhead and you are starting to smell a little bad and he still tells you that you are pretty. Though this one could cause you to doubt his sanity a bit.

There is much more, but you get the idea and I’m sure you can put together your own list. And while I am sure that it would be nice if love were always unconditional, I believe it’s the conditions of love that make its true nature apparent. This said, I may have just answered the question of why we love someone and why they love us back.

Consider this, all the little things that indicate to you that your significant other loves you can also be some of the reasons why you love them. I could just have easily started each point with, “You love your husband because …”

Happy Valentine’s Day to you all, and may you always love and be loved.

Courtesy of Woman’s Day