Everything’s Gonna’ Be Okay

I lie awake at night thinking. Worrying? Wondering? I’ll go with “wondering.” It sounds a little less crazy.

But the truth is, I’m obsessing about how we are going to fit our lives (and all our stuff) into the house we have purchased in Riverton, Wyoming.

I would be better served simply sleeping well. Whatever I might think about how it will be will surely not be accurate. When we actually get there, most likely I will find a few of the things I have anticipated will be as I’ve imagined, but probably the majority of them will not.

So what’s the point?

I should remember EGBOK and find peace in the assurance. But I can’t seem to do that. You don’t want to know how many times I’ve looked at the photos of the house from the online listing of it. I have an intense desire to do that right now. Oh my.

EGBOK is not a mantra that rolls smoothly off the tongue. It is not like “om” that you can feel deep inside you as you repeat it. It’s not a reassuring sound as you say it aloud. And repeating it over and over just makes it absurd.

But the thing is, I do actually feel that everything is going to be okay.

Now I just have to believe it.